He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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