Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
