Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
