Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
