he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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