:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize