Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
