I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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