What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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