i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
