Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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