are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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