How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
