How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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