This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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