Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
