his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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