His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
