tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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