i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
