ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
