You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
