dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
