I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
