bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
