don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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