Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All I want is dick and wine.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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