watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
