next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
