Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
