That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
