This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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