when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
