I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
