Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
