We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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