my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
