...so i touched it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
