you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They have beer where we have blood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
