That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
