i don't like sucking hair
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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