your thong is hanging out like whoa
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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