the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
