I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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