More tranny stories later!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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