The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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