Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
