Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
