I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
