I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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