You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
