Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
