I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
